I lost my job. I was loyal to the company and I busted my ass to make sure my department went along smoothly. I was my manager’s right hand. My superintendents appreciated me. But I still got fucked.
The reasons are somewhat ridiculous. I felt like I was picked on. I was basically under a microscope and every move I made was being analyzed. I could’ve been redeemed but management didn’t like me. Can’t help that.
Am I okay? Yes. I will be. But on the other hand I’m relieved. So relieved that when they told me they were letting me go I didn’t have a meltdown. It felt like all the world’s problems was off my shoulders. But I still feel like they fucked me up the ass with a 12-inch dildo without any lube.
Could I have been a better employee? No, because no matter what management had it out for me. I left without lashing out and making a giant scene. But I know I did a great job there. I committed myself 24/7 without complaints.
I see this as a new chapter. For the first time in a long time, I slept without waking up in the middle of the night thinking about work. I woke up this morning without freaking out about work. I’m looking forward to waking up on Monday without dreading what the day will bring me.
I’ve decided to not rush my job search. I’ve decided to focus on me for the first time in a long time. I have to take care of myself. I was under so much stress at work that I completely lost sight of what is really important – me. I can take this time to finish books I started. Find a real hobby and actually go to the gym. Get my house straight. Spend more time with my pets. Maybe freelance again. Do things that I’ve wanted to do but never found the time. Maybe blog more. Take up photography again. Wake up on a normal time on Fridays. Get a full 8 hours of sleep.
Here’s to bigger and better things. It’s time to leave the past and get excited about the future.