A New Chapter

I lost my job. I was loyal to the company and I busted my ass to make sure my department went along smoothly. I was my manager’s right hand. My superintendents appreciated me. But I still got fucked.

The reasons are somewhat ridiculous. I felt like I was picked on. I was basically under a microscope and every move I made was being analyzed. I could’ve been redeemed but management didn’t like me. Can’t help that.

Am I okay? Yes. I will be. But on the other hand I’m relieved. So relieved that when they told me they were letting me go I didn’t have a meltdown. It felt like all the world’s problems was off my shoulders. But I still feel like they fucked me up the ass with a 12-inch dildo without any lube.

Could I have been a better employee? No, because no matter what management had it out for me. I left without lashing out and making a giant scene. But I know I did a great job there. I committed myself 24/7 without complaints.

I see this as a new chapter. For the first time in a long time, I slept without waking up in the middle of the night thinking about work. I woke up this morning without freaking out about work. I’m looking forward to waking up on Monday without dreading what the day will bring me.

I’ve decided to not rush my job search. I’ve decided to focus on me for the first time in a long time. I have to take care of myself. I was under so much stress at work that I completely lost sight of what is really important – me. I can take this time to finish books I started. Find a real hobby and actually go to the gym. Get my house straight. Spend more time with my pets. Maybe freelance again. Do things that I’ve wanted to do but never found the time. Maybe blog more. Take up photography again. Wake up on a normal time on Fridays. Get a full 8 hours of sleep.

Here’s to bigger and better things. It’s time to leave the past and get excited about the future.

Where I Complain About Being A Woman

So in a few weeks, my womb will be removed. The pear shaped organ that carried my children. The one thing that differentiates me from men. The reason why I can talk about abortion and why it’s no one’s business why someone is getting one. That organ. My uterus.

I’ll be saying goodbye to my uterus. It’s not because I want to but it’s because I have a medical condition. I’m not supposed to have any more periods since I had the Novasure done. But for over a year now, I’m suffering from them. Sometimes they get so bad that it wipes me out completely and I end up sleeping all day.

Am I sad? In a way. This is not the first organ to be removed from my body. It would actually be the 4th. How fun. But I am also relieved. No more periods. No more PMS. And hopefully no more PMDD.

This is going to be a life changer. It’s still sad (and scary) but I don’t like that I’m suffering every month from something I no longer need.

I will have to spend the night in the hospital (remind me to write about the morphine machine). My husband will also be spending the night with me so yay! Hospital rooms are cold and creepy.

This isn’t my first rodeo so I should be really good at this. But goodbye, periods!!

Call Me Old Fashioned…

I had a choice. I didn’t have to take his last name when we got married but I chose to. Not because it’s the norm or tradition…but my reasons were more than just because I’m fucking in love.

But I can totally understand why some women don’t and I commend those who made the choice even though people talked her out of it. Like this woman: http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9417350?

I took my husband’s last name because my maiden name started with a Q and remembering how much of a pain in the ass it was to be so close to the end of the alphabet. Especially when we had to line up alphabetically by last name in school or I had to look for a table that had the sign “P-Q” and it was always at end of the freakin’ hall. Also, I’m the type who likes to get stuff over with so I always almost wanted to just die every time I had to wait to present something to the class.

I remember when it was time to renew our parking passes where I used to work. Went to my table (A-C), told them my last name and I was the fourth one down the list (my first name is like smack in the middle of the alphabet). Shit like that makes me happy that I took Jeremy’s last name. It baffles people, too, because they didn’t expect an Asian chick with an American last name until they check my ring finger. Kinda funny to me.

Also, being called The Adams Family sounds awesome. I seriously considered naming my daughter Wednesday. Now I see how that was stupid idea but I was pregnant and all I could think of was the next time I could eat or nap so I wasn’t really thinking clearly.