Farewell To My Friend

The morning of April 23, 2020 I lost my best friend of 11 years. Ginger crossed the rainbow bridge and my soul followed her.

I raised Ginger from when she was a puppy. She was your typical puppy – bouncy, destructive, needy. Then she grew into this beautiful dog that everyone admired yet feared at the same time. She was larger than usual but she didn’t know her size. I remember when I came home from the hospital, the first thing she did was sit on my lap so I wouldn’t go anywhere and leave her for 7 days.

I never left since because the look on her face when I came back broke my heart.

Ginger was my protector. No one could get within 6′ of me…not when she was around. She also protected the kids. It was like she knew her job was to keep us safe. She stopped someone from carjacking me. I was indebted to her ever since and I spent the rest of her life making it up to her. Though I knew that what I could do for could never amount to what she had done for me.

She loved going on walks – especially long ones. We would take her with us to the canals and walk along the tow path. She even got in the river for laughs and even though she hated baths and the rain, rivers and lakes and creeks were her jam. Jeremy would take her for 10 mile walks and not once did she complain. She came home exhausted, yet happy. I taught her how to run alongside Camden while she rode her bike. She didn’t care what we did as long as she was a part of it.

Ginger was always done for a game of fetch. I bought a Chuck-it for her and that thing was a Godsend. We would play for hours and she was barely exhausted.

Her love was unconditional. She would wait for me by the door when I would go to the store. She patiently waited for us to get home from work and understood that we would be gone for a long time but she always greeted us, happy and relieved. Her love for my children was unmatched by anything else. They were her kids, too. When I would have a bad day, she would lie down next to me as if to let me know that everything would be okay because we were together.

She got older and the walks became shorter but she always loved going on them even though her joints ached. Her muzzle turned gray and her eyes looked like she’s had a lifetime of knowledge behind them. Though she just wanted to sleep all day, she never missed a beat in greeting us at the door when we came home.

She put up with Carter as much as she could. He looked up to her and was obsessed with playing with her but she was just never in the mood. Nonetheless, she tolerated his bouncy attitude. That’s how much patience she had.

Then the day finally arrived. She couldn’t walk up the stairs anymore and we knew it was time. I finally accepted that she was no longer the dog she was before. The night of April 23rd, she went to sleep and never woke up.

I loved her and I still love her. I miss her so much and it’s lonely here in the house without her. She hung on long enough for me to find another dog who will protect me and love me like she did.

Thank you, Ginger.

What Day Is It?

If it weren’t for my planner, I wouldn’t know the Month, Day, and Year. So here we are, 3 weeks into working from home and I’m actually busy. Even though I don’t have anyone bugging me every 10 minutes, it’s still busy and I won’t mention the distractions.

Speaking of, I made Carter an Instagram page.

There’s my goodest boy. You can tell I have a lot of time on my hands.

Working from home has its perks. Like napping. I take a siesta every afternoon, with my work phone close to my ear just in case emails come in. Livin’ la vida loca over here.

Social Distancing has been extended through April 30th. I think the stay home order in my state is indefinite. We can only leave for essential traveling like going to the store, vet, gas station, and an ice cream run (that one’s for me). Regardless, I’m not complaining because we’ve got a long way to go with Carter. There is no way I can leave him in the house by himself. Because he does shit like this…

Thanks for checking in, you guys. I will try to post more. I hope everyone stays safe!

If I Could Live On An Island By Myself, I Would

I’ve been asked if I’ll ever go back to Facebook/Twitter. That’s a definite no. Too much social media probably contributed to the worsening of my depression because there were people out there – not deliberately – making me feel like an awful human/mother/wife, etc. I know they’re not doing that on purpose but still…I just learned how to adult, okay? And get this, I can barely see far away without my glasses so yeah…my body is now catching up to my age.

I’m on Instagram. That’s pretty much it. I share my life with pictures and short captions. That’s all I’m willing to share.

Without Facebook, I don’t need to see other people’s political agenda. Phew.

Without Twitter, same as Facebook.

Without LinkedIn, no one knows where I work. Thank God.

But I did find a job. It hasn’t been that long yet so I’m not sure if I like it or not. I’ve been duped before about how great the culture is at work, blah blah blah, then it turns out to be a cesspool of shitheads who sweep harassments under the rug and don’t even punish the perpetrators. What fucking gives?! And if you’re the victim, stop crying because they’ll just end up not liking you and come up with a ridiculous lie on why they had to fire you.

However, I was assured by HR at my new job that whatever the old job got away with would never fly at the new place because they have a zero tolerance for that kind of BS.

So yeah, the new place has the best view.

We have an open layout and I thought that would be annoying because I get distracted easily, but it’s not all that bad. Maybe because people there mind their own business and are too busy to fuck with people. They leave me the fuck alone.

I just wish I could get my depression under control. But that’s for another time. Also, I’m never going back to construction. Fool me once.